We do our best to not get political – we have our opinions, but it is totally not what the Somethingcast is about… so if we take away any perceived anthropomorphic attraction anyone has to the Green M&M, and we disregard any fanfiction that may have been written about her, Erin the E-Surance Girl (Remember her? If not.. don’t google her), and the Michellen Man in a menage tire. What we’re left with is a time-honored question of what really is the best candy out there? So, because it’s kinda what we do, I compiled a list of mine, and my dentist’s favorites…
Reese’s Sticks – It’s sad that these seem to be falling out of favor, as I’ve seen them less and less. Soon they won’t be at your regular old convenient store and you’ll have to go to the weird convenient store with the brown paper top shelf magazines. Anyway, they are just Reese’s versions of Nutty Buddies, with a notable layer of peanut butter… and given that 20% of my bodyfat is made of peanut butter, I’ll pick these over the highly inferior (but also delicious) Cups any day.
Sour Patch Kids – There was a time where I ate so many sour patch kids, my tongue felt like it stopped working for a day. Ever eat so many sour candies that you get a tongue pimple? Or you fray the sides of your cheek? Ever eat so many Sour Patch Kids you can’t eat them for a year because it reminds you of how sick you made yourself on them the last time, but still.. you kinda want to get the bag anyway? I would hope, by now in this list, you realize that I may have a bit of a candy problem.
Hi-Chews – Ok, I don’t know where these things came from. Apparently, they’ve only been around for a comparatively small amount of time – but they took the 80’s candy Bonkers, which were like Starbursts, but suuuper chewy, they mixed them with weird Japanese candies so you can have flavors like ‘Lychee’ and ‘Red Mango Pomegranate Tea’ and they just made them miserably delicious. Out of every candy on this list, this is the only one I will say no to, as you can taste the damn things ripping out your fillings… and you just don’t care.
Now, most of this list is not in order, but my number one favorite candy in the world is almost part of my identity at this point.. friends of mine will buy me a bag of these on my birthday or tell me if they tried a new one…
Trolli Peach Rings – I don’t know what it is. I’m super picky about Gummies, because I think most of them taste way too too sweet or they’ve used some amount of sucralose so they have that fake nasty taste… but the Trolli brand Peach rings, the ones that are half yellow and half peach, that are just a hint of sour, but melt immediately into sweet. Color me green and call me Kermit, these things have caused me nausea by how many I’ve eaten in years gone by. It’s a sickness. They’re masterpieces of deliciousness. When I see some other company has a peachring candy, oh, I’ll try it… but none can top these.
So, what are your favorite sexy candies? You know where to tell us
