As a fan of professional wrestling, even when I’m not wholly invested in the product, my favorite weekend of the year is this weekend – The Royal Rumble, where 30 people enter the ring 2 minutes apart and the last one standing at the end gets a big title match at Wrestlemania. It has been a yearly tradition for me to gather with friends, pick numbers, and enjoy it. In 2018, that same group got to watch live in person as Shinsuke Nakamura won the Men’s Rumble and Asuka won the Women’s. This year is the first time in three years we will all gather together again after .. well, ya know..
So I thought I’d take a minute and talk about a few wrestlers, modern and old, that never won the Rumble but should have, or just won’t.
Kofi Kingston – When I was a kid, I was really into wrestling. Now, I get occasionally invested in a wrestler or a story. The story of Kofi’s rise to WWE Champion was the last story WWE did that I felt so full-heartedly invested in that when he lost in a garbage match to a garbage person, I stopped watching and haven’t gone back other than the occasional big event. To see him win the Royal Rumble… I’d probably be back to weekly viewing unapologetically.
Mr. Perfect – Curt Henning was an amazing performer from top to bottom. A technical wrestler before the era of smaller framed guys was the thing. A character that exuded so much obnoxiousness you just wanted someone to beat the snot out of him. The mileage he could have gotten out of a Rumble win would live on to this day. In 1990 he was the last person thrown out by the winner, Hulk Hogan.. but imagine a world where he won it.
Bryan Danielson – If you know anything about the history of Bryan and the Rumble… you’ll know how his lack of appearance, or quick elimination, drove an audience to turn on The Rock, Roman Reigns, Rey Mysterio.. for two years in a row. For a minute he was the only person in wrestling people cared about, and he did great for himself without that win, but it would have been amazing to see him get it.
Barry Horowitz – Ok, here me out.. because non-wrestling fans are going ‘Who?’ and wrestling fans are going ‘..wait, what?!’ – The Rumble is supposed to be this moment where anything can happen, and yet year after year it is the people who you probably expect to win.. winning. You walk in knowing the top 5 options and sometimes the only option. For as much as its touted that anything can happen – very often it is an hour long showcase of ‘won’t happens’ and 10 minutes of ‘which obvious answer’. So why shouldn’t a guy like Barry Horowitz, who is known as one of the greatest losers in wrestling history. A man who lived to make other guys look dangerously good. …What happens if he wins? What happens if someone you just don’t expect comes out and wins?
Why can’t the Rumble be a place where, out of nowhere the least likely candidate becomes a Main Event Contender.
The answer is money… obviously, but I hope one day we get a Rumble that defies all expectations.
Maybe it’ll be this weekend.
