When I’m dealing with the decision fatigue of television.. specifically where I don’t have the energy to start a new show, nor do I want to suffer the likelihood of being disappointed and I don’t want to watch something I’ve seen a thousand times as background noise – I’ve found there is the perfect middle ground.
Paramount has Twilight Zone, Peacock has Alfred Hitchcock and Columbo. Perfect bite sized pieces that I can pick up and put down. Months later jump right back in on something I haven’t seen.. but it’s Alfred Hitchcock I want to talk about right now, because if you’ve never seen it, you are missing out.
Lets ignore the fact that Hitchcock himself is an amazing dry wit and, given that the show was on in the early 60s, every episode is the chance to bump in to a young Robert Redford or younger Christopher Lee. Those bits are just sprinkles.
What’s amazing is the range of episode types, from the ludicrously silly to the brutal social commentary, to the just plain good noir.
Here are some lessons to learn from Alfred Hitchcock Hour & Presents:
1 – Everyone’s in it for the money.
There is a running theme in this show where someone’s getting blackmailed for something. Whether it’s the butler who observed a wife’s infidelity or a nosy neighbor observing a wife’s infidelity, they’ll be fine as long as they pay up. That does lead to…
2 – Women cheat.
From what I’ve seen so far, there is a surprising lack of male infidelity. Sure, the occasional guy falls for another girl, but there is a much higher chance that some dizzy dame is two-timing her hard working bread winner. Which inevitably leads to…
3 – Men are cold-hearted killers.
Sure, you are a top advertising sales person who seems to be beloved by his town, or a nerdy guy Friday caught in something he shouldn’t’a seen. It doesn’t matter, in a moment of intense rage or surprise, every man has the ability to pick up that really odd ashtray and clobber someone over the head with it.
And lastly…
4 – You’re doomed.
It is a rare episode that ends in a complete happy ending. Maybe the wife tried to have you killed to hide her infidelity with the butler or the quirky cop got the final tip about what you were doing in your own closet with a hand cannon. No matter what your situation is, you are done for – and done for in dramatic fashion.
With that said, these are some life lessons that Alfred Hitchcock gives us, so watch your back… you are in grave danger.
