Last week I got to go do something I haven’t done in a long time… go to the movies.
But what film did you go see Hatton? Was it that Dracula movie with Nicholas Cage? What about the new Pixar Disney Marvel Star Wars of the Rings?
Nope. I got together with old friends Wild Pig Chris & Bill and settle in to a journey to the planet Mongo to watch a football star save the universe behind the synth rocking track of one of the greatest bands of all time. That’s right. Logan’s Run Flash Gordon.
I walked away from it feeling like I haven’t felt in years coming from a film, and I wondered if it was because I hadn’t sat in a big squooshy reclining seat with a THX sound system and a 20 foot screen since Mr. Stark turned into Dustbuster chow. I came to the realization that, where that all added to the moment, it was because Flash Gordon is one of the greatest pieces of trash ever made.
Please understand first that I hold the movie in high regard and that my usage of the term trash here in no way means the film is bad. It isn’t. It’s amazing, but there is not a single decision in that movie that doesn’t scream how cocaine fueled its era was. So, in a little history lesson, the movie was made by a mix of Italian and American/British folks. The Italian crew thought the movie was going to be a dark space opera. The english speakers thought it was a kitchy silly romp. This is why you have huge techno-color sets with exquisitely made high-fashion costumes. It’s why you get a scene where Ming’s right hand man’s face explodes out of its orifaces in one scene and Flash knocks out an army with a space watermelon with Looney Toon DONK noises.
Try and find another movie that feels like Flash Gordon and, importantly, doesn’t act like it knows it. Even the campiest Bolliwood mockbuster that plays its silliness as serious as possible still can’t hold a candle to Topal somehow pulling off being both Lex Luther and Otis simultaneously on one side, while the imposing presence of Max von Sydow puts on a sly smirking masterclass in evil vamping on the other.
I have seen Flash Gordon dozens of times as it was a staple of my teenage nonstop television diet, but until I saw it on the big screen… I don’t think I SAW Flash Gordon. You can listen to Jimi, but you can’t hear Jimi. Well, for the first time, I think I saw Flash Gordon in the brilliance it intended. It’s gaudy, it’s silly, it’s cheezy, and it’s a blended mess of ideas based on a dry sci-fi comic with a plot straight from a bad Dr. Who episode – and yet, somehow, it is an overly saturated rainbow of fun that doesn’t wink at its audience or apologize.
Ever have a movie experience that changed the way you looked at a film? Sound off in all of the places.
Send war rocket ajax… to breeeng back his boody…
