Tag: Movies

Imagine this – Johnny Law is on your tail, in the trunk you have a kilo of those really delicious strange flavored gummy bears from Japan that you didn’t pay the import tax on. You, in a suped up Kia Supreme, your partner in crime is in a Nitro-Boosted Toyota Corolla. Will you get across the county line before the Po takes your sweet sweet candies?

YOU might be in one of cinema’s greatest chase sequences.

Find out what high-octane, cat and mouse adventures the Somethings picked as their favorites on this week’s SomethingSomethingcast!

Ok here we VROOOOM!

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Imagine you wake up, have your coffee, go to work, go home, and the cycle repeats.  Every day. No variation. Nothing other than the same drudgery you’ve come to know for as long as you can remember.

And now that you are crying, why not listen to the Somethings talk about the new Ryan Reynolds tale, Free Guy (not, as Hatton may have you believe, Fall Guy). Is the movie funny? Too nerdy and inside baseball? Too simplistic and generalized for a broad audience? And what about Michael Myers?

Find out the answers to these and a whole lot more as you settle in to another 8 hour slogfest at the paper pushing cubical you call a life, on Something In Review: Free Guy

Ok here we take an arrow to the knee…

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Hey all, Podcast Rob here,

One of my biggest gripes about movies is how amazingly misleading the first thing we see about them is…. The Trailer.  I feel that, over time, the movie industry has gotten more insidious with movies that, while they may publicly praise and hype up, are worried internally about siad movie’s performance… so they go out of their way to make the trailer look as tasty as possible to get ases in seats even when they know the movie won’t live up to it.  I suppose in a way it’s no different than seeing a commercial of an amazingly delicious looking burger only to open the container and see roadkill on a bun.

That said.. here’s a few of my BIGGEST issues….

Avengers : Age of Ultron.   Look, I love me some James Spader, and when I first heard him as the voice of Ultron I thought this movie was going to be a homerun.  The eerie “I’ve got no Strings” was shiver-inducing. Unfortunately, the movie left me watching itless like Thor seeing Cap almost lift the hammer, and more like Ultron watching humanity and just shaking his head…

Highlander : Endgame.  Yes, yes, yes… “There Should Have Been Only One” (they’re not wrong…).  Biggest gripe about this movie?  There’s a scene in the trailer when the silhouettes of Connor and Duncan are fighting Kell (aside : What’s with K for all the bad guy names?  Kurgan, Katana, Kane, Kell…), and Kell gets cut in half and becomes TWO Kells, each fighting one of the Highlander pair.  It was something no Highlander villain had done before, and would have been amazing to see on the screen, except that was ONLY in the trailer and never mentioned nor teased in the movie.

The Crow : City of Angels.  There’s a version of the theatrical trailer from 1996 that shows a shadow on an exterior wall of a crow landing and transforming into Ashe Corvin (not the WORST name in the movie… I still laugh that the guy who played “Judah Earl” in The Crow : CoA also played “Jubal Early” in Firefly….).  Another instance of establishing something completely new in the canon of the movies that never actually made it into the movie.

Godzilla (1998).  They shows JUST enough of Godzilla rampaging through New York City to get you really excited, and the scream at the end sent chills down your spine.. but once the whole creature was revealed, the “Uhhh… what?” was just the start of the repetition of that phrase throughout the rest of the film.

Matrix : Resurrections.  This trailer hit the nostalgia vein for sure, but not only was the movie an unnecessary and  thinly-veiled money grab by the studio… the movie was self-aware enough to TELL you it was an unnecessary and thinly-veiled money grab.

What are some of your trailers that were better than the movies?

ALSO

Livestream For The Cure 6 is May 19th-21st!  9am-Midnight each day!  100% of all donations go to The Cancer Research Institute, and this year we’re shooting for $20,000.  Please come join us and a whole host of other amazing content creators from around the world to help make a world immune to cancer.

Follow at @livestream4cure on Twitter and @Livestreamforthecure on Facebook for more details.  For those looking to donate, the early donations link is currently OPEN and can be found here…   https://fundraise.cancerresearch.org/fundraiser/3744472

– PCR

There’s a reason we promote the Livestream for the Cure so heavily – and that is because it is an amazing cause, done by an amazing person, featuring tons of talented podcasters (and us!) — we will continue to tell you to go to the link, share the link, and be a part of the weekend in any way you can.

That said, it is the extra Tuesday of the month, so instead of doing a Free-For-All, we are going to replay last year’s Somethingcast episode during the event, where Rob and I concocted our own theme park amusement rides out of famous franchises.  And, guess what… one of them is actually happening!

Join us with Nick Haskins and enjoy the ride.

Ok, here there we went!

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There is a movement in horror to bring back the classics. We went through the remake era with the 2000’s versions of Friday and Nightmare, but Saw and, most popularly, Halloween, has show us that there are stories to tell a few decades later in the same universe.

Now Netflix is getting in on the action with a late-quel? (is that a word?) of the horror classic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Does it have the same legs that Laurie Strode and Michael Myers had? I ask, because that’s clearly what they were asking in the scriptwriting room…

So settle in to a dusty little empty street in Texas where nobody notices anything and real estate is cheap – it’s time for Something In Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Ok here we g.g.g.g.g.ggggooooOOOooo.. (that was a chainsaw noise)

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Right now – if, all of a sudden, this opening introduction was interrupted by — hey! Look! It’s THE SMOKE MONSTER!

Ok, he’s gone, but wasn’t that crazy and sort of ironic given we have a previous relationship with him so it makes sense, but ultimately is more of a meta commentary than an actual one about the contents of the show and the surprise of a guest who didn’t even get a word in.. or, in that instance, a chain rattling?

So, since that happened – why don’t you settle in with Hatton and Rob as we discuss our favorite cameos in film — ROBERT DeNERO!? What are YOU doing here?

Oh, Bob.. that scamp… Ok, here we OHHH IT’S PERD HAPLEY!

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Yes, it’s a terrible joke….

…but not as terrible as seeing between the veil and dealing with The Old Ones and the Elder Gods and non-euclidian geometry….

I love me some Lovecraft.  Yes, Howard Philip was an amazingly troubled individual whose views on politics, class, and race were questionable, but this blog isn’t here to dissect the man.. more the medium of his works.

I recently watched “Color Out Of Space” and… two things struck me…

1) Nicholas Cage will say “yes” to anything.

2) Lovecraftian movies just… aren’t that great.

The closest thing I’ve seen to a TRUE “Lovecraftian Movie” was “In the Mouth of Madness”.  It conveyed not only the weird waking-dream-slash-blurring-the-line-of-perceived-reality-and-what-really-the-fuck-might-be-going-on but the slowly seeping in horror/madness of many of Lovecraft’s works.

Unfortunately, movies like “From Beyond”, “Dagon”, and “The Void” are the usual offerings which either feel like they’re dancing around the edges of the story, or diving in with such gusto that a 5 page short story is turned into a 2 hour movie adding so much more than the original story did, that it’s just as ‘different’ but from the other side of the coin.

I think the problem with many Lovecraft translations stems from the fact that, through writings and notes… Lovecraft himself stated he wasn’t very good at writing action sequences.. so he largely avoided them… which.. makes for slow-paced movies.  Also, his descriptions were either fringe and minimal to let your imagination fill in the blanks (which oft-times can be far more horrifying) , or such a psychedelic fever-dream of description that it’s not something that translates well to film.

I know Alan Moore often complained that he wished people would stop making movies out of his works as they were intended to best be told correctly on in the medium he presented them in (I think he’s wrong…), but from what we’ve seen in movie adaptations from the works of H.P. Lovecraft…  Moore might be right.  Just.. not about his own works.

– PCR

It has been a long time since we have tackled the world of comic book swashbuckling, so we’re doing it with style by inviting one of our ol’ friends to talk funny books and martial arts – the maestro of Kung-Fu Drive-in Podcast, Geoff Vita!

We’re heading off to Ta Lo to discuss some of the bigger pictures of the new Marvel Phase, discussing representation in the new run of Marvel movies, and of course how much kickass is the new MCU butt-kicker kickin

So join us as we head to a mystical land, and remember, ‘kick, punch, it’s all in the mind‘

Ok, here we fu!

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Hey guys, Rob here….

The title basically says it all.  These are movies that.. in some way… enticed us into watching them, either by clever trailers, word of mouth, or sheer morbid curiosity… only to leave us far stupider than when we went in.

This list is FAR from all inclusive, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on YOUR entries to this list…

Let’s get to it!

Sausage Party
I mean, they let us know who and what this movie was right in the trailer right?  Anthropomorphic food trying to find the meaning of their existence, all the while filling the screen with a level of perverseness that would make the cast of Porky’s blush.  And yet…  even knowing what we were getting ourselves into..  this movie left us feeling mentally regressed.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Let’s take a beloved horror movie franchise, reboot it, and suck every last ounce of what made it great out of it!  A lot of people thought Jackie Earle Haley would make a great Freddy Krueger (myself included) but this horrible vision made me feel as if I lost 1/3 of my brain cells.

Any Adam Sandler Movie
Ok, I take that back.  Waterboy was fun as hell, and The Longest Yard, while a husk of the original, had enough cameos to make it fun to watch.  Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer can be exempt as well…but those were in “The Before Times”  Anything even REMOTELY recent?  Nah fam.  I mean.. good on him for being able to play exactly ONE type of character and building an entire career on it, but Ernest did it first.

Malignant
Ok, I came to this bandwagon late, and had ignored any and all hype about it.  That being said… JESUS this movie is not at all good.  From the forced attempt to make an ‘iconic’ weapon, to the hilariously horrible CGI of Maddy’s face in the fight in the police station, this entire movie is a spot-fest of “What the fuck am I watching… and why am I still watching it?”

What movies made YOU dumber?  Let us know!

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– PCR

It’s February, and you know what that means… it’s time for another episode. I actually am not entirely sure what else it could mean.  

To start off this month of love, we are bringing one of America’s sweethearts to the front of the line. He has been an action star, a romance star, a heist star, a car star, and a truffle farmer st– wait what? Anyway.. it’s Momma Coppola’s Baby Boy – Nicolas Cage. 

From a meme legacy to being a lot of people’s favorite dirty secret… Cage has been in a LOT of movies, and we’re here to just talk about a few of our favorites.  So settle in, swallow after every thing you say, and keep your mouth slightly agape – it’s time for our favorite Nic Cage movies. 

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